I Survived!


The LLO’s birthday party was on the weekend. He decided that he wanted to have the birthday party at a movie theatre. For the most part the kids were good, not all of them had their ears on, but for the most part, there were no nightmare stories to tell. But you’re reading this so I’ve got to give you something.

Ten kids. Nine boys and one girl. Three parents.

First kid bails when the movie starts, taking his parent with him. Okay, the parent knew he might be afraid and they were super helpful.

Nine kids. Eight boys and one girl. Two parents (me and TheWife).

TheWife says, “Good thing they’re mostly boys, guess you’re on bathroom duty!” The trips to the washroom begin.

The bathrooms are all the way at the front of the theatre and we’re at the farthest theatre from the entrance. Fortunately, they managed to contain themselves until they got to the washroom. Well, all except one – the LLO, I’ll get back to that. I must have made about 10 trips to the washroom, possibly more. Two of the trips were false alarms and I headed off a third false alarm.

Oh, if you’re ever a parent, teach your kid not to be a drawer dropper when using a urinal. For the sake of your kid and anyone else in the washroom. There was on drawer dropper – guys know what I’m talking about. Kid steps of to urinal, yanks his pants down… to his ankles. I don’t know how parents miss teaching their kids something as critical as that.

Okay, back to the LLO not making it to the washroom. What happened?

“I’m going to throw up,” says the LLO from the seat furthest from the aisle – apparently, he ate too much. He does the sideways shuffle past his friends and mom then we rush up the aisle. He stops at the trash can by the door and HEAVE HO! Off he goes.

Not once.

Not twice.

Not thrice.

Four times.

I was trying to get him to go out to the washroom but I guess the garbage can would have to do. I feel for the kid that is going to have to change that can. I took comfort in the fact that the movie was loud and figured no one would hear the LLO puking. I was wrong, TheWife informed me that he could be heard throughout the theatre.

Ah well. Give your mom a kiss, LLO… there’s a good boy.

It’s amazing to think about it, but a lot of the kids were having either seeing their first movie or their first movie birthday party. In the end, kids were happy, had a good time, some didn’t like the movie (can’t blame them) while others did and everyone was delivered safely back to their parents.

I’m dead tired.

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One thought on “I Survived!

  1. I am gagging right now. Usually puke cleanup is done by management only because it is considered a biohazard, and regular workers can’t be forced to do it.

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