Bigger is Better!


Except when it’s so big it becomes awkward or unsightly.

What’s he talking about?

I dunno. Do you know?

Nope.

Well, it’s this underlying obsession with bigger things being better. A couple of examples?

Take the iPad. Supposedly it’s massively innovative, but really it’s just an oversized iPod Touch. But it’s bigger!

(EDIT: Yes I pick on the iPad because the most obvious thing is that it’s bigger. Yes, I’m aware that it can do some neat stuff under the hood, but it’s still not nearly as good as a desktop computer but the driving thought behind it was making a bigger, hand held device – the rest was just obvious growth because now you have more size to contain hardware.

You’ll notice I didn’t pick on the latest iPhone – I won’t, because it’s at least faster, has potential for bigger bandwidth… so long as you don’t hold it like most normal people would because then you’d lose connection. Oops. Did I just pick on the latest iPhone? Damn.)

People obsess over bigger, they can’t help it. Bigger house, bigger car, bigger TV, bigger salary, bigger boobs… you knew that one was coming right? I’m sure cavemen sat around after chasing the latest mammoth into a tar pit and said, “You know, I could go for a bigger spear, then I’d REALLY hurt a mammoth! Maybe even kill a bigger one!”

Bigger isn’t new or innovative, it’s some subconscious obsession people have – mainly people with penises have this obsession, but I’m sure there are women out there that get it. The obsession not the.. oh never mind.

Still lost on what I’m rambling about?

Uh.. iPads?

No. /bonk I’m ranting about some of the changes Blizzard’s current team of monkeys are making to gear in Cataclysm.

I caught sight of the stats (I’d already seen the sketched and noted whoever designed them also has an obsession with balls) for the Tier 11 armor (scroll down for the T11 stuff) for Hunters and my first reaction is: WTF?

Some of those pieces have over 500 Stamina on them. 500!

There is a point where numbers are just getting too ridiculously stupid that they become pointless.. or ridiculously stupid. Almost childish.

Here’s an example. You’re playing D&D (because you’re a geek like me) and the DM rewards the following:

Longsword +1.

Cool, it’s magical and will help me clobber those critters that aren’t affected by non-magicial weapons.

Longsword +3.

Yes! This is pretty awesome, that’s a great weapon!

Longsword +5, Holy Avenger.

Damn, I wish I was a Paladin because that’s the best sword in the game for them!

Longsword+500.

Okay, now that’s just retarded. I’m never going to miss and I’m going to kill most things in one shot. OR you (the DM) will just have to scale the numbers up to ridiculous levels to compensate. Enjoy all that hard work and juggling.

I could be wrong, but most people (who have played D&D) will see the +500 and think, “Uh huh, I see the kids are playing D&D again.” They won’t think it’s great or cool! They’ll think it’s ridiculous and compensating for the lack of something else.

All that to say: Item stat bonuses are getting a little absurd in WoW.

I feel better now… well, mostly.

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