It’s been a chaotic year – which is both good and bad. Here’s a rough timeline:
- Feb – Separated from the wife
- June – Separation Agreement finalized
- May – Separation Agreement signed
- May – New house purchased and moved into
- June – dating
- July – some more dating
- August – more dating
That seems to be where I’m at.
I haven’t had much time for gaming, I’ve been moving pretty fast; for example I took two weeks to close on the house.
I’ve also started focusing on me – not me hiding away from a relationship I wasn’t happy in anymore, but good things like health and fitness. I’ve dropped over 70 pounds in 7 month, not because I’m starving myself, because I’m no longer trying to eat myself to death.
That is a bit of a joke. The truth of it is I was eating because I was unhappy, bored or because the food would taste better than how I was feeling and I became aware of it late last year. I realized I wasn’t hungry but I ate anyway.
Crazy isn’t it?
Tough part was that the LLO was starting to pick up my bad eating habits. I’ve had to correct that some and let him know all of the complications that come with the extra weight but also that he can enjoy the stuff he likes, just not so much of it at one time.
So “ex-the Wife”. The two of us are mostly getting along okay. The separation itself wasn’t too painful and went a lot faster than most people. Her lawyer tried to push things into court because he was a greedy douchebag.
He seemed to think we weren’t allowed to decide on the terms and agreements of our separation without his approval. About the only thing that is regulated is Child Support – that really is non-negotiable, but everything else was and we had decided on something we could both live with. He was pretty crafty, using less than realistic numbers when determining the net worth of each party, etc. He also threatened to go to court – which was a hollow threat, I knew she was more worried about being left with the debt from all that.
I explained to her that he is her employee, not the one making the decisions. I also reminded her neither one of us was a bad person and there shouldn’t be any malice in this agreement. Net result is we walked away with close to the deal we agreed to in the beginning. He was so unhappy he refused to draw up the agreement and left that to my lawyer.
Great choice in lawyer there! I did a search on him and turns out he does Criminal Law, Personal Injury and Family Law. Hmmm…. which one of these is not quite like the others?
We have shared custody of the boys, switching from week to week. Because I’m not a dick, I actually paid support earlier than was required of me, moved out as soon as I had possession of the new house even though it was lacking furniture and I needed to do some little fix ups. Technically, I could have stayed at the other place a little longer but I had very little desire to.
Work has been good. I’m definitely underpaid but I love my team – we get shit done and have fun doing it – and I really do enjoy the work. Location is sweet too :)
Health has been amazing. I have way more energy, I’m eating better, I have more choice in what I can eat and how I can prepare it. Downside is I can’t get too experimental with cooking unless I have the boys that week.
New house is great! Only carpet in it is on the stairs to the basement and stairs to the upstairs. Garage is spacious, backyard is a good size, deck is nice, the pool is large and there is a heater for it. Neighbors are great! Overall, much happier here.
Things are looking up!